Articles Tagged with coronavirus

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covid-19 tools to copeCovid-19 is preventing most of us from doing the things we normally would. If being stuck at home with your loved ones is causing you stress, it does not have to be a sign that your marriage is on the outs.  Sociologists claim that there are two inevitable outcomes for couples locked in together with nothing to do — a jump in birth rates, and an increase in the divorce rate. That being said, there are definite strategies you can employ to avoid the latter category. 

Give One Another Time to Adjust During This Lockdown Period

The new reality is more than a little unnerving. For individuals who are used to being out and about conquering their worlds, being constrained at home is quite a change. It is not just the daily activity that is going to change; a person’s total outlook and mindset must adjust to the new reality. Instead of thriving in their self-created reality, people are switching to survival mode. The psychology of that means a necessary move toward being more flexible. As you and your partner adapt to the new requirements of your life, patience will be an indelible virtue!

Structure Your Days

With your old routines demolished by the pandemic, it may be essential to create new ones in order to salvage your sanity. While vegging out in front of the television may appeal for a period, eventually it is not going to be enough to keep your mind and emotions functioning as you would prefer. That means figuring out specific activities that will bring you satisfaction, and even joy, during this difficult time. Your schedule should include time for exercise, time to connect with others, time to maintain your home, and, essentially, time to reflect and be alone. Designing a plan that both partners adhere to—with some flexibility, of course, will help your relationship more than you can imagine.

Boundaries

Living in a small space will doubtlessly cause some territory wars at some point, so designating workspaces or relaxation spots may be useful. More essentially, agreeing to “rules of the house” relating to family time will certainly be important. 

Communicate

Above all, it is more important than ever to express your thoughts and feelings honestly now. If you need a break, you need to be able to say so. If you have fears—and you would be crazy not to—being able to discuss them openly can help you to manage them. That being said, expressing resentment or blame is never an effective way to solve problems or build a relationship. Hopefully at this point you have already established expectations as to how to communicate about difficult issues in a fair and positive way. If not, do your best to avoid criticizing in a cruel way. Instead, look for value in your partner and work toward resolutions to difficult issues.

Getting Through Difficult Covid-19 Times

Many couples are able to survive these difficult Covid-19 times and come out stronger together on the other side. Unfortunately, that is not true in all situations. In the wake of the pandemic crisis, we at Beck Law P.C., hope families come through these times successfully. Continue reading →

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divorce rate vs coronavirusCan there be a connection between the divorce rate and the coronavirus pandemic? As communities reel from the effects of the coronavirus pandemic and the mitigation efforts being taken across the globe, families are finding a surprising side effect for which many were unprepared. If the impacts in the United States resemble what has happened in China, we may be seeing a sharp uptick in the divorce rate. 

Xi’an Divorce Rate Soars

In China, a report by the Global Times notes that in the city of Xi’an the request for divorce has spiked to record-high numbers. In fact, a number of government offices are booked up for the foreseeable future with requests for divorce.  Of course, a partial explanation for the bombardment of these offices is the fact that they had all been closed for a month. Beyond that, however, sociologists are pointing to another factor that has impacted the crush of requests. 

Forced Close Quarters Makes for Stress

After experiencing life in quarantine, many marriages have suffered an inordinate amount of stress. The fact of the matter is, the coronavirus itself has provoked a hefty amount of discomfort and worry among people. Add that to being housebound for days, weeks, or months at a time, and conflicts tend to rise along with the divorce rate. Here in California,, families are finding themselves spending more time at home with limited options away from one another. Social distancing, including closures of schools and workplaces, has exacerbated the sense of isolation families have from their communities. As shutdowns have grown to include sporting events, concerts, religious services, restaurants, movie theaters, and public transportation, people have no choice but to spend more time with family at home.

Dealing With the Stress

A disruption to routine can cause anyone a certain amount of stress. A disruption of the magnitude we are seeing related to the coronavirus can be exponentially more difficult because individuals will not have access to many of the usual activities used to decompress. What can you do to not become a divorce rate statistic and make the best of the difficult times? There are actually a number of strategies that can help. Understanding that stress is contagious is the first thing every couple needs to know. Handling these emotions effectively can mean the difference between contentment under pressure, and bitter feuds.

  • Recognize the symptoms of stress, such as moodiness, agitation, over-eating, substance abuse, or other characteristics;
  • Address behaviors you are seeing in a loving way with your partner;
  • Listen to the worries and concerns of your partner without feeling obliged to “fix” the troubling issues;
  • Provide comfort to your loved one, and then move into potential solutions;
  • Do things together like exercising, board games, or reading aloud;
  • Figure out ways to reduce stress, like taking  bubble baths, trying meditation, or cleaning out cupboards;
  • Continue to check in on one another’s stress level, and ask your partner how you can help things go more smoothly;
  • Focus on being a person who gives rather than takes.  You will find that is a good way to manage both your partner’s stress levels and your own.

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