Improving your marriage in 2018. If you are half of one of the millions of couples who are in an unsatisfying marriage with your spouse, the New Year is here. For 2018, how about resolving to improve things at home?
Taking Steps to Improve Your Marriage
The problems in your marriage did not develop overnight and your marriage is going to improve overnight, and it is not going to improve without specific, targeted changes. That being said, perhaps it is time to buckle down and get to work:
- Get your head around the fact that you are going to have to make changes to improve yourself before you can improve your relationship with your spouse. Figure out what you need to do to become better, stronger, more flexible, happier, etc. How can you bring your A-game to your relationship?
- Focus on one key thing you can do to make your partner happier. It does not have to be a huge thing; just something that will make it clear that you are tuned in to the relationship. Put down your phone during meals; quit commenting on bad driving; take out the trash before it is overflowing. Tiny adjustments can make a world of difference, so jump in!
- Greet your partner with genuine affection. When you run into friends at the mall, you smile, make eye contact, and find out how they are doing. Why not do the same with your spouse? That to-do list can wait until after you have asked about the workday and shared a few basic pleasantries.
- Go to bed at the same time. Even if it is just to share a few moments talking, connect with your spouse at bedtime.
- Avoid withholding feelings of dissatisfaction. Instead, discuss problems openly and honestly, with an eye toward creating mutually satisfying solutions.
- Apologize when you are wrong. Whether you forgot something important to your spouse, overreacted to a silly event, or let unkind words slip out. Saying the words I’m sorry with sincerity always helps.
- Connect. That’s right. It’s more than coordinating schedules or fulfilling your share of the household obligations. Connecting with your spouse is the single most important thing you can do to create a healthy relationship.
How can you do that? Here are some quick and easy tips:
- Engage your spouse in a topic that he or she is passionate about.
- Flirt a little.
- Turn off the television.
- Surprise him or her for no special occasion.
- Do something together—take a walk, read a book, share a sundae…
- Exercise together.
Your marriage if Your Spouse Just is Not into it…
If you give it your all, but if feels like only one of you cares to breathe some life into your marriage, it can be extremely disappointing. If that disappointment leads you to contemplate divorce, you will want seasoned, effective legal representation. Do you live in Sonoma County, Mendocino County or Lake County California? At Beck Law P.C., in Santa Rosa, our experienced family law attorneys will listen and work to achieve your goals in divorce proceedings. Contact us for a confidential consultation.