It is easy to fall into the trap of making nasty remarks and selfish grabs for power and material possessions when going through a divorce or separation. After all, chances are you have some pretty big chasms of perspective when it comes to your ex. Even so, a good attorney will advise you that in order to get through your divorce with the least amount of damage, it is best to remain respectful and courteous at all times.
Divorce or Separation – Think Clearly
You may have plenty of reason to be angry, wounded, or vengeful, but put those feelings aside and think about the final outcome you would like to achieve. Stabbing at your former spouse’s vulnerabilities and inflaming already negative emotions will only encourage the same coming back twofold. Along those lines, avoid humiliating your ex by serving divorce papers in a public place, posting unflattering pictures or comments on social media, or otherwise shaming them. You are going to be attempting to reach a settlement. Do not cut yourself off at the knees before negotiations even get started.
Do Not Say Mean Things
There will be arguments, of course, but there is absolutely no reason to make accusations or threats. It is something that will demoralize your former spouse and paint you in a bit of an ugly light, as well. You really do not want a protective order issued against you; nor do you want anything you say or do to indicate that you are unstable. That could be particularly damaging if custody and/or visitation issues will be a part of your split.
Do Not Put the Kids in the Middle of a Divorce or Separation
Do not forget the innocents in this process – your children. Chances are they are going to suffer to some degree regardless of how amicable things are between the adults. Do not make things more difficult for the little ones by engaging them in discussions that disparage their other parent, by making visitation difficult, or by otherwise making them have to choose a favorite parent.
Divide Things Fairly
Although you definitely do not want the property division to be lopsided toward your former spouse, you also do not want to be petty and cheat your ex out of whatever he or she rightfully deserves. Be honest, be reasonable, and go into discussions knowing that you will likely have to part with something you wish you could keep. That is just what happens in divorce.
Deal With the Divorce Before Getting Into Another Relationship
In a challenging situation, the last thing you want to do is make it more volatile by bringing a third person onto the mix. Watching you enjoy a wonderful romance is likely to have a negative impact on your ex. That can mean anything from pensiveness to revenge. So, play it safe and hold off on new relationships. If you absolutely can not put it off, be discreet, by all means.
The Best Settlement Possible
At Beck Law P.C., our experienced Santa Rosa family law attorneys are dedicated to getting you the best possible settlement under California Law. If you live in Sonoma County, Mendocino County, or Lake County California, contact our Santa Rosa office for a confidential consultation today. Our Santa Rosa law office is located at 2681 Cleveland Avenue just south of the Empire College School of Law and north of Coddingtown Mall.