Children can be significantly affected by a divorce. Many divorcing parents today are employing written parenting plans to assist themselves and their children with the transition. A parenting plan is a written document that attempts to address many of the potential areas of contention between divorcing parents.
The major benefit with parenting plans is the consistency they offer. Whenever an issue arises between the parents, they can review the parenting plan to determine the proper course of action.
Just as every child, and every family, is unique, so should each parenting plan be unique. Your parenting plan should be tailored to your child’s needs. Those needs will change depending on your child’s age and personality. As your child grows and changes, the parenting plan should be updated accordingly. The plan should also take into account each parent’s schedule and parenting strengths.
Of course, in order to create a parenting plan, the parents must discuss and agree upon many different and diverse issues. Some of those issues will be difficult to agree on and many will be emotionally charged.
Child custody and child visitation should always be discussed at length in a parenting plan. There are many, many different kinds of child custody arrangements and just as many visitation scenarios. Some families prefer to change child custody over short periods of time, while others prefer for the children to reside with each parent for longer periods at a time.
One contentious issue between divorcing parents is transporting the children. When divorcing parents live close to one another, then parents must discuss whether the custodial parent will drop off the child or whether the not custodial parent will pick them up. The situation is more difficult when parents live farther away. In those situations, the child may need to take a train or plane in order to reach the other parent’s home. Until the child is older, they will likely need someone to accompany them, and the parenting plan should specify which parent that will be.
Parenting plans should also discuss the basic care of the child. Such basic care includes food, sleep, and activities. Recently, more and more families are adopting organic, vegetarian, or vegan diets. Parents may wish to include these dietary choices in a parenting plan, to ensure continuity for their child.
Parenting plans can cover any issue that parents wish to address. For example, parents may want to limit the amount or type of visitors that a custodial parent has while watching the child. Parents may also address the usage of cell phones, computers, and the Internet. The plan can also delve into the child’s involvement in sports and other extra-curricular activities. Such activities can be particularly difficult, because some parents may need to discuss how they will attend the child’s events. Finally, one particularly contentious issue that must be addressed is religion. Even when both parents are religiously compatible, the parenting plan should address when and where religious activities will occur, and how the child may participate.
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