Articles Posted in Divorce

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Substance Abuse and DivorceAre you considering divorcing a spouse who has trouble with substance abuse? Anyone experiencing a divorce can tell you that there are all kinds of mitigating factors that may impact divorce proceedings and outcomes. One particular issue that can have a substantial bearing on your divorce agreement is addiction. When one or both partners suffer from drug or alcohol issues, matters may become more complex than ever. A good divorce attorney is your best bet when facing these issues.

Marriages Ruined by Substance Abuse

The statistics on marriages when substance abuse is involved are not encouraging:

  • Close to 30 million people are married to an alcoholic or drug addict.
  • Nearly 10% of divorces are related to substance abuse;

Is Divorce the Right Choice for You?

Experts advise considering divorce under certain key circumstances involving addiction:

  • Married life is substantially impacted due to substance abuse;
  • Self destructive behavior has long-term or severe impacts on you and your family;
  • Your spouse refuses to participate in counseling sessions, or attends sessions with negligible outcomes;
  • Your spouse lies, hides things, fails drug tests, and/or is responsible for “disappearing” money;
  • Your spouse engages in dangerous behaviors while under the influence of prescription drugs, illegal substances, or alcohol;
  • Cheating, beating, or other irresponsible behavior accompanies substance abuse;
  • You find yourself embarrassed and unwilling to face your family and friends due to symptoms and events related to addiction;
  • You make excuses for your spouse’s addiction and related behaviors on a regular basis.

Before Filing for Divorce

As you embark on this difficult period of your life, try to establish a strong support network of family, friends, and professionals. Groups like Al-anon, Nar-Anon, and Families Anonymous can help you through the tough days ahead. In addition, some practical things you should consider include:

  • Securing your finances;
  • Helping your spouse to find professional services;
  • Documenting any issues connected to the addiction;
  • Finding support for your children as they experience the divorce;
  • Hiring a responsive attorney.
Your Divorce Agreement

In addition to the typical separation of property and debt issues that all couples face in divorce, (California is a Community Property state) when you divorce an addict, additional measures must be taken, especially when dependent children are involved. It is essential that your divorce agreement include required participation in a reliable drug- and/or alcohol-testing program.  Visitation must be contingent on clean reports, or must be supervised.

Furthermore, you should consider the possibility that the mention of divorce may result in more extensive drug or alcohol abuse. This, in turn, may lead to anger and potential violence. Be sure to secure a safe place to stay for yourself and your children. Continue reading →

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Divorcing missing spouseDivorcing a spouse that is missing? Is it possible to divorce your spouse when you have no idea where he or she is? The short answer is yes, but you will have to go through some extra work, wait about six months, and you may not get a final court order on the division of resources, child custody issues, and child support. In this situation, hiring an experienced divorce attorney is a must.

Divorcing by Publication

When a spouse disappears with no forwarding address, divorce may be obtained by publication. The Petitioner (the person seeking a divorce) must demonstrate that a diligent search has been conducted and the missing spouse was unable to be located. Therefore, that spouse cannot be served, nor can the divorce papers be delivered by certified mail.

Divorcing a Missing Spouse? What is a Diligent Search?

The courts expect that a sincere effort to locate the missing partner has occurred. Thus, a number of steps must be taken:

  • A thorough search of phone books and directory assistance in the area where the Petitioner lives and where the missing spouse was known to have lived last;
  • Talking to friends and relatives who might have knowledge of the missing spouse’s whereabouts;
  • Contacting the post office in the area where the missing spouse lived to ask for a forwarding address;
  • Investigating tax and property records to see if the absent spouse owns any property;
  • Communicating with previous landlords and employers about the location of the missing spouse;
  • Checking voter registration records;
  • Hiring a private investigator to try to find the missing spouse.

If, after completing these steps, your spouse still cannot be found, you may submit an Affidavit of Diligent Search to the court. This documents any and all steps you have taken to locate your spouse.

Filing for Divorce

At this stage, you must complete an Ex Parte (Without Notice) Application for Publication of Summons and several other legal documents in order for the court to issue an Order of Publication. The Order allows for the publication of the summons in the newspaper, and it must be published weekly for a total of four consecutive weeks. There must be a minimum of five days between each publication.

Your Spouse’s Rights

Following the four weeks of Publication of Summons plus 28 days, your spouse has another 30 days in which to file a response. Barring any response, you may file a Request to Enter Default Dissolution of Marriage. The divorce will become final six months from the date of the first publication of summons. Continue reading →

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long-term marriageDealing with a divorce can be especially difficult for someone in a long-term marriage . Studies show that men over 65 are divorcing at double the rate of the 1980s and women are divorcing at triple their former rate. In fact, 5% of all divorces in this country are “gray divorces.” Along with the usual splitting of assets that all divorcing couples face, older couples have some unique challenges.

Why Divorce After Decades Together in a Long-Term Marriage?

Older couples have often experienced many significant events together. Some couples grow closer through these life milestones, while others drift apart. With a longer life expectancy, a person in his or her mid-sixties most likely has at least a couple of decades ahead. That can be a long time if an individual is dissatisfied with his or her marriage.

Leaving a Long-Term Marriage

Alimony agreements are frequently short-term for young divorcees who agree that financial support is necessary while one spouse gets an education or a firm footing in the working world.  For older divorcees, alimony may be awarded for life. Another significant factor to consider is that retirement funds and pensions will likely be evenly divided. The marriage home may be sold and the money split between partners, or one partner may retain the home and give up something else. California is a community property state, so any assets accrued during the marriage will be split equally.

Another important consideration is health insurance. If one partner is covered by the other’s health insurance, it is critical that no gaps in coverage occur. When the divorce is finalized, your spouse’s employer can no longer cover you, even if minor children are covered. Luckily, COBRA coverage may be available if your spouse works for an employer with 20 or more employees. Eligibility depends on notification within 60 days of the divorce, so it is critical that you contact the provider quickly. This coverage lasts only 36 months, so it is important to become familiar with other options if necessary. If a spouse worked for a smaller company, Cal-Cobra is available. Although slightly more expensive and available for just 18 months, it is an option for some former dependent spouses.

Because men often earn much more money during the course of a career, social security benefits may be based on the man’s earnings rather than the woman’s work record. When a marriage has lasted at least 10 years, a woman may be able to enjoy benefits from her former spouse’s work record. The benefits end upon remarriage. If a person is at least 62 years old and is remarried, and the second spouse dies, that person may claim benefits from the first spouse (if the marriage lasted 10 years or more) or from the second spouse (if the marriage lasted 9 months or more prior to the death). Continue reading →

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abusive marriageAre you trapped in an abusive marriage? If you want to get out of the relationship, but have fears about how your spouse will react, you are not alone. Studies show that roughly 40% of women in California suffer from physical violence with an intimate partner at some time in their lives. If you find yourself in such a situation, an experienced, discreet attorney may be able to help.

Facts About Abusive Marriages and Domestic Violence

  • Women aged 18-24 are 11% more likely to have experienced physical violence in the past year than their older counterparts;
  • Women who were pregnant in the past five years are 12% more likely to experience violence than those who have not been pregnant;
  • Three-fourths of women who live in violent homes have minor children living in the home;
  • 5% of homicides statewide were related to domestic violence in 2008, with a total of 113 fatalities;
  • Of those fatalities, 88% were women.

Divorcing an Abusive Spouse – What You Need to Know

If you wish to extricate yourself from and abusive marriage, you may face an angry spouse who threatens your safety and that of your children. Be aware of several key points:

  • A contested divorce will take at least six months;
  • Courts are more likely to consider physical and/or sexual abuse than emotional abuse, which is an issue when seeking Abuse Prevention Orders;
  • The court can impound your address, meaning it will be blacked out in all court documents so your spouse will not know where you live;
  • Restraining/protective orders can be issued requiring your spouse to stay away from you and your children;
  • If there is not documentation of your injuries, you may be regarded as hysterical, or worse, vengeful in your pursuit to defame your spouse;
  • You may be asked to go through mediation prior to getting your divorce granted;
  • Your abuser will likely have some form of visitation rights with your children, meaning you may be in contact for years to come.

Protect Yourself Right Now

The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799 SAFE. They can tell you about resources and local agencies that are set up to help women and children who need protection from abusers.  In the meanwhile, here are some things you should be doing:

  • Keep your plans hidden. Do not keep phone numbers, filers or other information related to domestic violence in the home where your abuser may find them;
  • Have an emergency plan to escape during an violent emergency; keep an overnight bag with prescriptions and other essentials ready to go if you can safely hide one;
  • Make your plans to leave permanently during an open window of time when your abuser will not be around to stop you;
  • Try to hide some money or get your own credit card, but make sure you have a PO Box to receive mail;
  • Find out about shelters that could accept you and your children;
  • Leave your cell phone behind so your abuser cannot track you;
  • Keep a journal, pictures, medical bills, and any other documentation if you can do so safely;
  • Keep online information safe;
  • File formal charges and get a protective order.

Continue reading →

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MarriageThere are no doubt people in this country who believe the institution of marriage is dead and should now be buried, that there is no longer a need or a use for marriage as it use to be described in our society.  Marriage has traditionally been the bulwark, the foundation upon which the family unit was built. Marriage vows were usually taken in a religious ceremony where the couples vowed their commitment to each other “until death.” That was until society “came of age” so to speak. To some it seems that marriage no longer takes the place of importance it use to have in our society. Whether you believe this to be a good thing or a bad thing, it is a reality.

Divorce is on the Rise

We now live in a society where people change their spouses often. It seems like it was an exception to talk to a person who has been married two, three, or four times. As in many jurisdictions, divorce in California has been made quite simple. California is a “no-fault” divorce state. Prior to the 1970s, in order to get a divorce in California, and many other jurisdictions, one spouse had to plead and prove that they were entitled to a divorce because of the actions or misdeeds of the other spouse. They had to prove that there were “grounds” for the divorce. One of those “grounds” would be infidelity (adultery) or cruelty.

Fast forward to today, when adultery within a marriage seems to some to be more of the norm instead of the exception. It appears to be as inevitable as “death and taxes.” Perhaps it is the result of the advances made by social media and Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter accounts. Perhaps it is as a result of the ease with which couples can get married and the ease with which they can get a divorce. Whatever the reason marriage vows are taken so lightly, it has had an acute effect on how society looks at the “institution” of marriage. Since there are no grounds to be proven in a divorce proceeding, evidence of adultery is no longer relevant.

Society used to view marriage as the first step in starting a family. Today, you can start a family, including having children without a marriage. Couples seem to be in agreement that marriage is archaic in the sense that no one marries anymore and if they do get married, they do not stay married for very long.

Marriage, Commitment, and a Safe Place to Raise a Family

There are some good things about a family unit that are missing from today’s view on marriage and relationships, and that is “commitment” to the family unit. Humans are gregarious by nature. Families that commit to the well-being of each other are important for the advancement of our species. With that said, it is important to choose your life partner carefully. However, when you make a misstep and find yourself in a relationship that is not conducive to the making of a strong family unit, divorce is the best option.

When Divorce is the Best and Only Option

The family unit cannot always withstand the onslaught of infidelity and cruelty from either spouse, especially when children are involved. Sometimes, the protection of the family unit requires that a “cancerous” portion of that unit be incised so that the family can be restored to a productive and committed whole. Divorce then becomes the process by which this is done. Continue reading →

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file for divorce, californiaWhere should I file for divorce? When contemplating a divorce, there are many things to consider, both practical and emotional. Taking on the financial and logistical aspects of a divorce alone can be an enormous burden. Issues such as child custody and division of possessions are hard enough, but one must also consider alimony, paperwork, fees, and everything else that comes with taking apart a marriage. The good news is that seeking help from a qualified attorney can make the process much easier.

All states have their own regulations as to what is required in order to get a divorce in their jurisdiction so one of the the first things to evaluate is where to file the divorce paperwork.

File for Divorce In California

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divorce cases, social mediaDoes Facebook have a role in divorce cases? Many people believe Facebook to be simply a way to have fun, stay in touch with friends play games, and other light-hearted and harmless activities. However, Facebook has been playing an increasing role in divorce cases each year. A new study shows that Facebook is cited in approximately 33 percent of all divorce cases in the United States, which is an increase from results indicating 20 percent of divorce cases in 2009.

Cause for Divorce Cases?

Facebook has no doubt been a facilitator for meeting new romantic partners or for reuniting with past partners. If this happens to a married individual, online messaging may easily lead to in-person meetings, infidelity and, eventually, to divorce. However, researchers state that it is difficult to tell in how many cases Facebook is the true cause of divorce, since many people who may log on to social media more often or and be willing to stray likely have underlying issues in the marriage already.

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divorce depositionWhat is a divorce deposition? Just like each marriage is different, each divorce case is also different. Some divorces are uncontested with few major issues and with couples agreeing on a settlement relatively easily and efficiently. Other divorces may have complex family law issues, such as high asset property division, enforcement of a premarital agreement, child custody battles, alimony battles, and much more. More complicated cases will understandably require more time, energy, and legal tools to settle all of the necessary issues. One such legal tool that is used in some complex cases is the deposition.

What to Expect From a Divorce Deposition

A divorce deposition is a method of gathering answers to various questions in a legal case. A divorce deposition does not take place in a courtroom, but instead generally takes place in an attorney’s office or conference room. Both attorneys will be present, as well as a court reporter who takes down the transcript of all of the questions and answers. The individual being questioned may be a party to the divorce (i.e. one of the spouses) or an outside individual serving as a witness. While depositions may be more costly than other methods of obtaining answers, sometimes this is the best way to receive the thorough answers you need for the best outcome in your case.

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Child Support EnforcementChild Support Enforcement in California. When a judge officially finalizes your divorce—approving any settlement agreements, issuing orders for child support or spousal support, and legally dissolving your marriage—you may feel a sense of relief that your legal battles are over. Unfortunately, too many parents will find themselves back in court to address issues that arise regarding their agreements. One issue in particular that leads people back into the courtroom is child support enforcement.

Child support orders are based on specific formulas that take into consideration the respective incomes and expenses of both parents, as well as the basic needs of any children in question. For this reason, the majority of child support determinations in California are considered to be fair and to reflect the responsibilities of both parents to financially support their children. However, simply because a court issues an order—and even if that order is fair—does not mean that the parent ordered to pay child support is going to comply with the court order.

Because most parents rely on child support payments to cover the major expenses of raising one or more children, it can have a serious effect on your living standards if the other parent falls behind on payments. For this reason, many parents seek to legally enforce child support orders.

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Celebrity DivorcesCan my spouse stop our divorce? After a petition for dissolution of marriage is filed, spouses may argue over many issues before the divorce is finally granted by the California family court. Issues that may cause contention include property division, spousal support, and child custody. One issue that many people may not consider is whether the divorce should be finalized at all. One recent media story highlights what can happen when one spouse refuses to cooperate with the divorce at all.

Can Refusing to Sign the Papers Stop Our Divorce?

The Kardashian family has repeatedly been in the news for high-profile divorces. For example, mom Kris Jenner recently filed for divorce from longtime spouse and former professional tennis player Bruce Jenner. The most recent story arises from reports that professional basketball player Lamar Odom is refusing to sign divorce papers filed by daughter Khloe Kardashian approximately ten months ago.

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