Santa Rosa Family Lawyer Blog

California is a "no fault" divorce state which means that grounds for divorce are rarely controversial. Instead, property division and custody arrangements are usually the most important issues to resolve between the spouses during a separation.

As our experienced Santa Rosa divorce lawyers often explain, a "no fault" divorce means that the spouse filing for the divorce is not required to prove that the other spouse committed any kind of misconduct, such as infidelity or domestic violence. In California, it is enough for the spouse to simply state that the couple cannot get along. However, before the spouses can go their separate ways, they must resolve several issues, including the property portion of the case. Depending on the amount of property that must be divided and what property is considered a marital asset, establishing a property division agreement between the spouses can be a lengthy, contentious, and downright stressful process.

Obviously, if the couple acquired a lot of property together during the marriage, it will likely take longer for the spouses to reach a mutual agreement, further dragging out the divorce proceeding.

For example, a recent story in the Press Democrat reports that Susan Decker, a former president of Yahoo, and her husband, Michael Dovey, finally reached a settlement on Monday in their divorce. They filed for divorce in 2007. It took five years to reach a settlement in large part due to the property involved, including about $71 million in real estate, stock, cash and other assets.

Other issues that extended the divorce proceedings were allegations of infidelity, drug use, and spying. Although these issues are irrelevant in the granting of the actual divorce, since California is a "no fault" divorce state, our Santa Rosa child custody lawyer knows that such allegations are can become relevant when children are involved, ultimately slowing down the process of finalizing a divorce. In this particular case, the allegations were pertinent factors to consider since Decker and Dovey had three children together. The judge will take these factors into consideration when determining custody of the children when they might affect what is in their best interest.

However, although custody of the children prolonged the divorce proceeding in this particular case, the main reason that the process was protracted was due to the large amount of assets the couple acquired during their marriage. Whatever the amount and type of assets involved, a couple going through a divorce must understand what exactly qualifies as "property" before a property division agreement can be established. Our Santa Rosa divorce lawyer can explain how property includes anything that can be bought or sold, and it is also anything that has value--such as bank accounts and security deposits. The court ultimately makes decisions regarding how to divide the property that was acquired during the marriage. However, couples have the option to divide their property by agreement on their own, but the judge must sign off on that agreement.

Because of the complexities that may arise during the property division portion of a divorce, in our area it is always important to seek the advice of an experienced Santa Rosa divorce lawyer. Our attorneys have years of experience guiding families through this process and ensuring that partners going through a separation have a strong advocate looking out for their unique interests.

See Related Blog Posts:

Uncovering Marital Assets in a Divorce

Where do I File for a Divorce in California?

Our Santa Rosa child custody lawyer has seen firsthand how easy it is for parents to fall into the trap of believing that their custody battle will be fairly straightforward and simple because they generally believe themselves to be "good people." Often, parents fail to recognize what they are up against when it comes to fighting for custody with an ex-spouse or partner. They think that as long as they are not abusive, and as long as they are able to properly provide for their children, they will not face any real obstacles to being with their children. However, as our experienced Sonoma County divorce lawyer knows, marriages rarely end without any hard feelings between the parties. This is especially true when there are children involved. Therefore, parents must be prepared for every kind of attack, using any ammunition available to impinge their characters and their fitness as caregivers for their children.

One such attack that has been gaining ground and attention in courts across the nation involves the issue of parents who smoke cigarettes. According to an article in the Washington Times last month, family law courts in at least 18 states have begun to consider whether a parent smokes, and especially whether a parent smokes in the presence of his or her children, when making a child custody determination.

The article cites a study conducted by an anti-tobacco group called Action on Smoking and Health. The study analyzed thousands of child custody cases from all around the country to see what effect smoking had on a parent's likelihood of being granted partial or full custody. Among other things, the findings revealed that (1) no court has ever ruled that the issue of whether or not a parent smokes is irrelevant to the custody decision; (2) judges often make it a condition of visitation that a smoking parent refrain from smoking in the presence of the child and in the day or two preceding a visit; and (3) some courts will even hear evidence about the smoking habits of other people who the child sees routinely while in one parent's care, such as grandparents, close friends, or significant others. This means that even if one parent does not smoke, the fact that he or she is often around people who do can weigh against that parent when the ultimate decision is made.

Because of this growing concern, some parents will quit smoking altogether prior to filing for divorce or before a court proceeding to determine custody. However, California child custody law allows the court to reconsider a prior custody arrangement if the person seeking the change can demonstrate that there has been a substantial change in circumstances. According to the study cited above, courts have altered existing custody orders on the grounds that one of the parents is or has become a smoker. Therefore, even if someone quits before the date of a court hearing, if he or she starts back up again, it will be at the risk of losing custody and possibly even visitation rights.

As always, in our area it is important to have the advice of an experienced Santa Rosa divorce lawyer at Beck Law. Our attorneys are proud to serve residents communities like Santa Rosa, Rohnert Park, Petaluma, Kenwood, Glen Ellen, Bodega Bay, Ukiah, Clearlake, and throughout Sonoma County, Mendocino County and Lake County.

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Where do I File for a Divorce in California?

Am I Entitled to Spousal Support?

Divorce is a difficult process no matter what, but when infidelity is a factor in the dissolution of marriage the process can becomes even more complicated. For those who stray in marriages, it is important to be aware that the issue may have consequences in the legal proceeding. However the effect is often less than what some assume. In certain circumstances your wallet may suffer from the legal ramifications of a failed marriage due to infidelity. But in many cases the adultery itself may not affect many issues related to property distribution, spousal support, or child support. Our Santa Rosa divorce attorneys can provide the necessary information to understand your specific legal rights when going through a divorce when infidelity is an issue.

California is a "no-fault" divorce state. That means that the only two grounds for marriage dissolution are (1) irreconcilable differences and (2) incurable insanity. The insanity grounds are quite technical, and the vast majority of divorces are filed on grounds of irreconcilable differences. However, that does not necessarily mean that adultery has no effect on divorce.

Most are aware of the high-profile Hollywood divorces that usual come with the stock claim that the couple is splitting due to irreconcilable differences. For example, The Huffington Post reports that infidelity may have been a factor in the breakdown of the infamous 72-day marriage of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries. Kardashian and Humphries wed last year in a lavish ceremony in California. However, the fairytale was short-lived as Kardashian filed for divorce just over two months after the wedding. The reason for the failed marriage has not been explicitly stated. However, recent reports have suggested that Kardashian was cheating on Humphries during their marriage.

There are many different ways that this might play out in a divorce. More than anything it may affect the negotiation process between the parties. Beyond that, Kardashian may be faced with the obligation of paying Humphries a certain sum of money if during their marriage, she spent any money on her other partner. Our Santa Rosa divorce lawyers know that under California law Humphries would be legally entitled to have the marital estate reimbursed money if it can be proven that Kardashian did in fact spend any money on her other partner.

Beyond the potential for money spent on a paramour being reimbursed to the marital estate, there are not many other issues where infidelity plays a key role. Spousal support cannot be granted simply because of adultery because that would be akin to a punishment (which is not a part of marriage dissolution). Similarly, adultery rarely affects child custody issues. The only way the infidelity would play a role is if it can be shown that the actions somehow directly interfered with the best interests of a child.

At the end of the day our Santa Rosa divorce attorneys appreciate that each divorce situation is different. Family law issues have changed substantially over the last few decades, and that includes the effect of issues like infidelity in a divorce. Whatever the case may be in your situation, it is important to ensure that you have experienced family law professionals on your side throughout the process. If you are in our area, be sure to contact our California divorce lawyers to see how we can help protect your interests.

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Uncovering Marital Assets in a Divorce

Am I Entitled to Spousal Support

A few weeks ago our Santa Rosa divorce lawyer provided some recommendations on how clients can safeguard their online identities in order to protect themselves during turbulent divorces. Recently, an Ohio man learned firsthand how big a role Facebook can play in these difficult cases. The husband, Mark, and his wife, Elizabeth, were involved in an acrimonious divorce, child custody, and visitation case last year. They have one child together, a son, and the custody dispute has involved a great deal of emotional turmoil for both parents. Elizabeth had also lodged allegations of threats and abuse against her husband.

Even more trouble arose when Mark decided to use his Facebook page as an outlet for his hostile feelings towards Elizabeth. According to a USA Today article, Mark posted a comment to his page that said, among other things, "...if you are an evil vindictive woman who wants to ruin your husband's life and take your son's father away from him completely -- all you need to do is say that you're scared of your husband or domestic partner." Even though Mark had taken steps to keep his page private from his wife, she found out about the post anyway, probably through a mutual friend with access to Mark's profile.

When Elizabeth discovered what he had written, she called her attorney, who brought the matter to the court's attention. Due to Elizabeth's accusations of abuse, the domestic relations magistrate had previously granted her protection by ordering her soon-to-be ex to refrain from any activity that would cause his wife to experience physical or mental abuse. The magistrate determined that the Facebook rant was a violation of that order and found Mark in contempt of court. The magistrate judge told Mark that he could either post an apology or spend the next 60 days in jail. Not surprisingly, Mark chose the first option.

Our Santa Rosa divorce lawyers appreciate that this particular ruling has garnered a fair amount of media attention in the last few weeks. Attorneys and other advocates around the country have contributed to the debate over whether or not judges and magistrates should be able to threaten people with jail for what many say is a protected form of expression under the First Amendment. The husband's attorney argued that by posting online, Mark was merely expressing himself and that his comments were not intended to cause Elizabeth any distress. In fact, Mark thought that his wife would not be able to see the comments because he had removed her as a "friend" on Facebook and blocked her from seeing his profile.

Each Northern California family law attorney at our firm appreciates that disagreement about the appropriate balance between free speech principles and effects on divorce will continue to rage in the coming years. In any event, the story demonstrates how essential it is to not only protect your social media profiles during a divorce but also to take the time to think before posting anything derogatory about your spouse. All too often, especially in cases that involve intense emotion and conflict, internet posts can come back to haunt a spouse with severe (and unwanted) consequences.

See our related blog posts:

Safeguarding Your Internet Presence During a Divorce

Northern California Annulment/Nullity Attorney

Most local community members understand the basic idea of property distribution in a divorce. Property is deemed either marital or separate. At divorce, all property that is deemed marital will be split between the two spouses. Each individual spouse keeps their separate property. While that basic concept is somewhat simple, sorting out the details can be quite complex and contentious. Our Santa Rosa divorce attorneys work closely with local residents on this process, helping to ensure property is classified and distributed to maximize their interests.

One challenge to the property distribution process is simply uncovering all of the involved assets. It is quite common for a divorcing spouse to try to shield assets from the other during divorce. After all, if the other spouse does not known about certain property, they will not try to fight for it during the separation. In this way, hidden assets are always a concern in divorce law. Hiding assets is not something that only comes up with millionaires. Couples with varying martial asset values may face these issues.

Our North Bay area divorce lawyers are experienced with these concerns and are adept at noticing certain red flags they might suggest assets are being hidden. For one thing, when one spouse controls most of the financial information, is secretive about money issues, and owns private mailboxes, the potential for hidden assets is increased. Erratic behavior by that spouse might also raise suspicions, such as when a computer with financial information mysteriously crashes or personal finance programs are eliminated.

So how are assets hidden? Here a few of the more common methods...

1) Unrecorded cash in hidden bank accounts. Taking money from accounts and placing it in offshore bank accounts is relatively easy and attractive for those trying to hide assets in divorce.

2) Understating business revenue. Undervaluing known assets is also a common way that one spouse will try to pull one over on their ex. This is particularly possible in situations where businesses are involved. Revenue in the business can be deferred for a time to manipulate the value during the divorce process.

3) Transferring ownership of assets to a third party. Parents, siblings, and friends are often used to act as fake owners of property during a divorce with agreements for the property to return to the spouse after the divorce is finalized.

Each Santa Rosa divorce lawyer at our firm understands that these and similar tactics must always be guarded against. Financial statements are often difficult for some spouses to read, and so manipulations to them may go undetected. Divorce is always contentious, and it is made worse when underhanded tactics are used. That is one of many reasons why it is vital to have an experienced and aggressive legal professional on your side throughout this process. There is simply no alternative to having a legal advocate in your corner ensuring that your rights are protected and respected every step of the way.

The experienced attorneys at Beck Law P.C. are here to help. We serve residents in many areas including communities like Santa Rosa, Cotati, Rohnert Park, Petaluma, Windsor, Kenwood, Glen Ellen, Bodega Bay, Ukiah, Willits, Clearlake, Lakeport, Kelseyville and throughout Sonoma County, Mendocino County and Lake County.

Please take a moment to send us a message online or give us a call at 707-576-7175 to learn more about how you can take control of the divorce process.

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Northern California Annulment/Nullity Attorney

In the midst of divorce, property rights, use of accounts, custody arrangements, and other issues become legal matters--rather than just private affairs. That is why a heightened level of personal scrutiny is always demanded during divorce proceedings. There is no way to keep emotions out of the process, but it is important to understand the legal ramifications of actions during marriage dissolution which are often fueled by emotion.

For example, our Santa Rosa divorce attorneys often remind residents that when you are involved in divorce proceedings it is extremely important to properly manage your social media presence and internet personality. If children are involved it is likely important to be careful about social media issues even after the divorce. In this context, "social media" is used expansively. It includes everything from Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, and personal blogs to email messages, online message boards, and text messages.

Social media in divorce cases is becoming an increasingly useful weapon, especially when children are involved. A recent attorney survey from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) found that 81% of attorneys were using evidence that had been gleaned from social media sites. This evidence can influence spousal support or child custody decisions.

California child custody laws focus on the best interests of the child. This usually includes a look at whether a parent is willing and able to help his or her child maintain a good relationship with the other parent. Public displays of animosity against another parent on a social media site can be harmful when it comes to determining child custody arrangements. Additionally, the social life of the parent can be a factor in the custody decision. Posting pictures of a night out with friends or other social activity may raise questions about a parent's actions or contradict previous statements which may influence a judicial determination. Even though it may be completely innocent behavior, comments and images gleaned from these social media sites can paint a deceptive picture. This is especially true in the courtroom where the only thing the judge has to go on is the evidence presented to him or her--they do not know those in front of them personally.

Many people incorrectly believe that their information will be protected as long as they block their spouse and his or her close friends from seeing what they post. However, as individuals have discovered in a wide range of situations--including divorce--it is incredibly difficult to keep things private once they are posted online. It is always best to simply assume that anything sent in an email or put onto a social media site may eventually be seen by everyone.

Considering the potential pitfalls, sometimes the it is best to disable social media pages entirely for the duration of the divorce proceedings. Most social media sites allow you to disable your page so that it will not be available for anyone to see. This also usually prevents all others from locating your page via searches but does not require you to permanently delete previously posted information.

For the same reason, it is important to avoid saying anything in email and text messages that might come back to haunt you later. Even if you trust the person to whom you are writing, you simply cannot be sure that messages will stay private. Always try to write everything with an assumption that it will eventually become public, and try to imagine ways that it could be used against you. You cannot be too careful when it comes to social media and your internet presence during a divorce or child custody dispute. If you are in doubt about how a message or action may affect a proceeding always ask for guidance from your divorce lawyer or other legal professional.

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Where do I File for a Divorce in California?

Am I Entitled to Spousal Support?

When parties in Northern California are considering a divorce, sometimes they question whether they can get an "annulment". Under very specific and limited circumstances, parties can request a California court to declare their marriage null and void.

For the court to grant a judgment of nullity the must determine that the marriage was either void or voidable. Under the Family Code, a marriage is void from the beginning when the marriage involves either incest or when a marriage is entered into while either party is married to another person. In the later situation, the marriage is usually bigamous and void from the beginning.

A party who mistakenly believes their spouse to be deceased can have a marriage deemed void if for 5 successive years immediately preceding the marriage, the party's spouse had been absent and not known to the party to be living or at the time the marriage was entered into, the party's spouse was generally reputed or believed by the party to be dead.

Under the Family Code, when a marriage is void, it is void from the beginning, technically meaning that no marriage has occurred. However, this does not mean that a party should not obtain a judgment of nullity, because depending on the circumstances, a party may want a public record of their marital status. Furthermore, in specific circumstances, a party to a void marriage may be entitled to assert property and support rights as though the marriage had been valid and the parties may also address issues of custody, visitation, and child support in a nullity action.
On the other hand, a voidable marriage is valid until it is declared void and judicially declared a nullity. A marriage is voidable when a spouse was a minor and lacked the ability of consent; a spouse had an unsound mind at the time of marriage; consent was gained through fraud or force; or a spouse is physically incapable of entering into the marriage.
In situations of minority, a marriage is voidable if, at the time of the marriage, the petitioner was under age 18 and the requisite parental and court consents were not obtained. Nullity based on unsound mind occurs when either party is incapable of understanding the nature of the marriage contract and the duties and responsibilities it creates at the time of the marriage ceremony. Seeking an annulment on the basis of fraud will require the court to determine that the consent to enter into the marriage was obtained by false representations relating to a matter of substance that go to the very essence of the marital relation.

Making the decision to file for a divorce in California is very difficult and many people are overwhelmed with the process and the paperwork. There are complicated decisions about finances, dividing assets and debts, developing a parenting plan and so much more. Additionally, and often times just as important as the legal issues is the emotional turmoil many parties feel and a feeling of not knowing what to do.

When a person makes that difficult decision to file for divorce sometimes there are some initial questions such as "Where do I file?" and more importantly "Can I file for divorce in California?"

The later question should be answered first because in order to file for divorce in California, the state requires that you be a resident of California for at least six months and that you have been a resident of the county wherein you reside for at least three months. Depending on the specific circumstances of your matter even if you do not meet with the jurisdictional requirements for a divorce in California, you may be able to file for a legal separation, which can later be amended.
The question of "Where do I file?" is more easily answered. Filing for divorce in California requires the preparation of several documents and a filing fee. The required documents are a Petition for Dissolution of Marriage, a Summons and if the parties have children, an additional form called the Declaration Under Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act or "UCCJEA". In short, the UCCJEA is a uniform act that grants the court of the "home state" of a child exclusive jurisdiction for issues of child custody. All of these documents listed above must be completed and delivered to the clerk of the family law court, with two copies, and the required fees.
However, simply filing a Petition for Dissolution will not grant either party rights to child custody, child visitation, child support, spousal support or divide any property rights. A party seeking to have any of the above issues must file a motion with the California court specifically seeking the requested relief.
Another serious issue to consider is the numerous tactical issues that affect the timing of a person filing a California Petition for Dissolution. These can range from specific issues regarding a determination of child custody and the best interests of the children to issues of property control. For example, by filing a California Petition for Dissolution and serving the required documents on your spouse, there are financial restraining orders that prohibit your spouse from transferring property, encumbering property or changing beneficiary designations without your consent.

When a marriage or domestic partnership is being dissolved, the issue of spousal support or alimony is often a primary concern of the parties. In part, this is because marriage involves mutual obligations of respect, fidelity and support and this continues even through the dissolution process. The experienced family law attorneys at Beck Law will assist you in this very important determination, regardless of whether you are the spouse entitled to receive temporary spousal support or the party that may have the obligation to pay

Temporary Spousal Support

During the dissolution process a spouse may have the right to receive temporary spousal for the purpose of assisting that spouse balance their financial obligations. Often times, it is very important to obtaining a temporary spousal support order immediately so as to secure financial security to a spouse who was dependent on the income of the other party. In the situation of temporary spousal support its calculation is generally based upon the needs of the supported party and the ability of the supporting party to pay. Prior to a judgment for dissolution, temporary spousal support is calculated much like child support and uses a judicially recognized "guideline" calculated by a program.

How is Temporary Spousal Support Calculated?

To calculate temporary spousal support, the experienced attorneys at Beck Law, will determine the relative income of each party and calculate what guideline temporary spousal support may be. This is a complex process, which involves many specific calculations and consideration of applicable deductions and allocation of expenses between the parties. If not performed correctly, the calculation may result in a spouse receiving far less than what they may be entitled to receive or paying far more than they should.

Permanent Spousal Support

Permanent spousal support, or support that may be ordered after a judgment for dissolution has been entered, is calculated by a careful consideration of a long list of factors under Family Code section 4320. In particular these include the respective incomes of each spouse, the length of the marriage, ability of a party to pay, the standard of living during the marriage, the assets and debts of each party and whether there has been any domestic violence. Permanent spousal support is generally payable for duration of half the length of the marriage, except in cases of a marriage of a long duration, or over 10 years, where the court may reserve jurisdiction over the termination of spousal support.

How is Permanent Spousal Support Calculated?

When calculating permanent spousal support it is important to evaluate the specific factors of the Family Code and also to consider the unique facts applicable to your case. For example, will the supported spouse require any retraining or education, did the parties pay for one spouse to go to school and obtain additional professional skills, did the supported spouse previously have job skills and is that supported spousal maximizing their earning potential. When you are going through a dissolution that involves spousal support and permanent spousal support in particular it is important to have an experienced family law attorney because a negative result may not be modifiable and financially impact you for many years to come.

Families going through a divorce often hear about "family court" and that they may need to go before a "family court judge," but don't know what to expect. Does everyone have to appear, even the children? How often do you need to appear? What is family court like, in Sonoma County and in other parts of California? A skilled California family law attorney can help prepare you if you ever need to appear in family court.

How Often Do I Need to Appear in Family Court?

It depends upon the type of dispute with your ex-spouse. If you have disputes over child custody, spousal support, and child support payments, the court will schedule one or more hearings to determine each issue. If neither ex-spouse appears, the hearing will be rescheduled. However, if your ex-spouse requested the hearing and appears, but you don't, the hearing will take place as scheduled. If the dispute involves child custody, your children may appear in court to testify, but are not required to do so. On the other hand, if you and your spouse prepare an arrangement prior to your divorce and never have another problem, you may never need to appear before a family court judge.

Why is Family Court Separate From the Other Courts?

It is common for superior courts to be separated into civil, criminal, juvenile, family law, and other divisions. Since family law disputes are among the most common, it would bog down the court calendar too much if they were mixed in with other types of disputes, causing lengthy delays for all of the parties involved. Also, family law is a complex, specialized area best left to judges very knowledgeable of the matters. In Sonoma County, the Family Law Division covers divorce, legal separation, parental rights, child support, child custody and visitation, family support, adoptions, and domestic violence restraining orders.

Are There Differences Between the Family Courts?

Every court is slightly different, depending upon the judges appointed and the population of the county. Some courts have more crowded calendars than others. Some judges may be viewed as "fairer" than others. Also, each court has local rules for how to proceed that your attorney should understand thoroughly. That said, all of the courts enforce laws that apply to the entire state.

How Can I Avoid Going to Family Court?

If you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse work out an agreement privately, such as for child custody, you will not need to dispute the issue before a judge, though the court would need to certify. You also have the option of working with a family law mediator to reach a fair agreement. Mediators are available through the courts; they are neutral parties who listen to you and help you consider all options. If you reach an agreement on all matters, you will not need a hearing before a judge.

This blog has discussed what to do when a visitation dispute arises, but what can you expect from visitation on a regular basis? Visitation is not the same as joint custody. While there may be visitation in a joint custody situation when one parent has sole physical custody, visitation is frequently awarded when one parent has both physical and legal custody of the children. The court believes that it is in the children's best interest for the other parent to see them regularly. If you find yourself in a situation where you or your ex-spouse has visitation rights, find out more from a California family law attorney about what these rights involve.

Do I Get to Decide When and Where I Meet the Children?

Usually the custodial parent has the power to decide the time and place of the non-custodial parent's visit with the children. However, since it tends to be the source of many ugly disputes, sometimes resulting in the non-custodial parent getting little contact with the children, courts prefer that you and your ex-spouse create a parenting plan ahead of time that outlines visitation rights. If this does not succeed, the parent being denied visitation can petition the court, which may then order mandatory visitation rights.

Do I Still Get to Make Decisions About My Children's Upbringing?

If you are a non-custodial parent with visitation rights, you do not have the legal authority to make decisions about your children concerning issues such as school, religion, medicine. However, a good relationship with your ex-spouse might allow you to give feedback about the children's needs and have it be factored in. If you are a parent with legal, but not physical, custody, you have the legal authority to make decisions about your children. More courts are moving away from granting sole legal and physical custody to one parent, allowing more cases in which both parents have the legal authority to make decisions about the children.

If My Ex-Spouse Does Not Appear to be Treating the Children Well, Can I Petition to Modify the Custody Arrangement?

Yes, you can petition the court for a modified custody arrangement. Be prepared to provided documented evidence of your ex-spouse's lack of care. Also, you may have a more difficult time establishing that you deserve custody if you deliberately left the family, leaving your children with the other parent.

What if My Ex-Spouse Wants to Move?

California courts will allow the spouse to move if he or she has a good reason. However, they might deny it if the move would be too detrimental to the child, or the custodial parent was moving just to deny the other parent visitation rights.

Along with spousal support, child support is a contentious and anxiety-provoking issue in almost any divorce. If you are the parent who pays it, you might worry that you can't afford it. If you are the parent with custody of the child, you might worry that you can't afford not to receive it. Because child support goes toward the stability and well being of the child, it is important that you know all of the facts before proceeding with your divorce.

How is It Determined Who Pays Child Support?

Child support is paid by whichever spouse is the non-custodial parent of the child. Unlike spousal support, which is discretionary, child support is mandatory and determined by a state-provided formula. A California child support calculator is used to calculate what the non-custodial parent owes. It considers the number of children you have, how much time you spend with each one, your monthly income, the amount you pay in taxes, whether you owe child support from previous relationships, retirement benefits, and other factors before determining a payment. A family court judge makes the final determination, so it is possible that the actual amount you would pay would be different from the one calculated.

Do I Still Need to Pay if I Have Joint Custody of the Child?

Many people believe that if you have 50-50 physical and legal custody of your children, you don't owe child support. In fact, even parents with equal custody may have to pay child support if his or her income is much higher than the other spouse's, even taking other factors like taxes into account. This has generated a lot of anger between ex-spouses, with accusations that the non-paying spouse uses child support money for frivolous purposes. Yet the purpose of paying child support is to ensure that the children have the same standard of living that they enjoyed before the divorce. If the children spend half of their time with a parent whose lifestyle is much poorer, the children will suffer. The parent who pays child support pays less when there is 50-50 custody than if the non-paying parent had primary custody.

What if My Custody Payments Don't Go Toward the Child's Care?

As mentioned above, the paying spouse's biggest fear is usually that the money paid isn't being used to support the children. If that is the case, you should not stop payment. Instead, petition the court to modify child support payments and, if necessary, custody arrangements. It is common for spouses to modify child support payments once their children have outgrown certain care arrangements, such as day care. Ask a California family law attorney for more information about what to do in this type of situation.

What if I Can't Pay? / What if My Spouse Doesn't Send a Payment?

If you are the paying spouse and have a change of circumstances, do not hesitate to let the court know as soon as possible. The court may then modify the amount you owe. Do not stop payment, because if you fall too far behind, the non-paying spouse can go to court and get a contempt order against you, requiring you to pay not just the overdue child support, but also interest and penalties. If you are a non-paying spouse, you can also pursue the payment through various options such as a wage assignment or a lien.

Does a prenuptial agreement before marriage mean a kinder divorce? Many couples think so, which is why they enter into a signed mutual agreement beforehand. Often these couples have been divorced once before, and are aware of the pitfalls. But does a prenuptial agreement always ensure that the worst aspects of divorce -- painful fights over assets and child custody -- will be avoided? A California family law attorney can help you understand the benefits and drawbacks of a premarital agreement, and which would be right for you.

What is a Premarital Agreement?

It is a written agreement signed by both members of the couple before marriage. In California, prenuptial agreements are called premarital agreements and are governed by the Uniform Premarital Agreement Act. It requires that (i) both members of the couple fully disclose their financial situation; (ii) both members of the couple fully understand the terms of the agreement; (iii) both sign voluntarily; (iv) the agreement was created in a timely manner; and (v) that the terms of the agreement are fair.

The premarital agreement can determine how any financial asset -- such as house, cars, and income -- is divided in the event of a divorce. It is not used to dictate relations during the marriage (such as household chores).

Benefits of a Premarital Agreement

Couples who enter a premarital agreement often have significant assets and children from a previous marriage. They want these assets to pass to their children. Since California is a community property state, sometimes when one spouse's separate property is used for the family, it becomes community property. This property is then split between the two spouses in a divorce, depriving one spouse's children of their full inheritance. A premarital agreement makes it clear that certain assets must remain separate property.

Another benefit is that the tension and anger of fighting over assets is largely avoided. That can be especially beneficial for the children. Also, if you and your spouse know that one of you will stay home and raise the children, a premarital agreement can ensure that the stay-at-home spouse gets spousal support in a divorce.

For many people, the decision to divorce comes after years of domestic violence -- where one spouse has abused the other, as well as the children. For the abused spouse, it is often a difficult decision. He or she may still love the other spouse. The abusive spouse may have left the abused spouse questioning his or her self worth, or fearing that the abusive spouse will come after the abused spouse if he or she tries to get away. While most incidents of domestic violence involve male-on-female violence, there have been increasing reports on female-on-male violence. Also, domestic violence can affect same-sex marriages or domestic partnerships. What can you do if there is domestic violence in your family? In the event of divorce, how does domestic violence affect the spouses' legal rights?

If I Want to Divorce My Abusive Spouse, What Do I Do First?

The first thing many abused spouses do is get to a safe place and file for a temporary restraining order in family court. A "TRO" can be issued within 24 hours. Whether you are married, divorced, or in a domestic partnership, it can protect you from a wide range of abuse. A TRO prevents the abusive spouse from having any contact with you, your children, or your relatives. It may prevent the spouse from taking your children away. It can be granted without first giving notice to the other spouse, allowing you time to put a safe distance between you and the abusive spouse. The TRO will be effective even if you move.

A TRO usually lasts three weeks, but may be turned into a permanent restraining order. In addition to the above restraints, it may also provide for child support and spousal support. While a TRO or an EPO (an Emergency Protective Order, which can be issued by the police if you need immediate protection from your spouse and lasts five days) can be acquired without an attorney, at some point, you should find a California family law attorney.

What if My Spouse Was the One Who Earned the Money?

A history of domestic violence is one of the factors the family court considers when it determines spousal support. If you were unable to work during the marriage, the court might decide that you need spousal support until you can support yourself.

What if My Spouse Wants Custody of Our Children?

While there are cases where the abusive spouse gets custody of the children, determination of custody is usually based on several factors. This includes the best interests of the child; whether the abusive spouse has completed a 52-week batterer's program and not committed any other domestic violence; and whether the abusive spouse has followed court orders to take rehabilitation classes and obeyed the restraining order. Failure to do any of these things would jeopardize your abusive ex-spouse's claim to custody of your children.

Whether to pay spousal support is one of the most contentious issues in a divorce situation. For the first time, both spouses face having to live alone and support themselves, as well as children. After arguments over bank accounts and child custody, often the last thing a spouse wants is to worry about supporting the other spouse for years, if not a lifetime. Yet the spousal support issue is shrouded in a lot of myths that make it seem more frightening than it really is. A California family law attorney can help you learn the facts and maintain a good relationship with your ex-spouse.

Spousal Support is Not a Factor in Every Divorce

Just because you are divorcing does not mean you or your spouse will have to pay spousal support. In fact, in all but a tiny fraction of cases (10 to 15%), spousal support is not even awarded. And when it is awarded, the divorcing spouses had to first meet several conditions. The key is whether both spouses earn enough to maintain the standard of living they grew accustomed to during marriage. A family court judge considers whether the "supported" party has marketable skills, whether the supported party was unemployed for long periods of time to be a stay-at-home parent, the length of the marriage, the extent to which the supported party helped the "supporting" party obtain an education, and other factors. The list of factors is long, and as you can see, most divorcing couples do not meet the standards requiring spousal support. So don't feel that you can't get a divorce because you aren't able to make expensive support payments. The chances are high that you will not need to make any at all. If you do, they do not need to be a burden.

You Would Not be Required to Support Your Ex-Spouse Forever

There are cases of permanent spousal support, but in California, spousal support is generally meant to be "rehabilitative," until the other spouse becomes self-supporting. The law claims that it must be within a "reasonable period of time": usually half the length of the marriage, unless the marriage has lasted 10 years or longer. You can also stop paying support when your ex-spouse remarries, or, inevitably, if your ex-spouse predeceases you.

If Your Financial Situation Changes, You Will Not Need to Keep Paying the Same Amount

If you suddenly lose your job, or find a lower paying job, you do not need to keep making the same fixed payments to your ex-spouse. Instead, you could petition the family court for a temporary abatement, or for permanently reduced support payments. Similarly, if your ex-spouse starts to earn more money, you can seek to have your support payments reduced or stopped altogether.

Your Ex-Spouse Must Try to Find Employment

If your ex-spouse does not try to find employment, you can seek a vocational evaluator to examine his or her skills. The court might then decide to terminate your spousal support payments if you can show that your ex-spouse is purposely not looking for work. In some cases, an ex-spouse might truly be disabled. Then it would be best to have a medical evaluation done to determine whether your ex-spouse can do employment that meets his or her limitations.