Santa Rosa Family Lawyer Blog

In a disturbing sequence of events reported in an article in The Press Democrat, a Lake County woman is accused of having sex with her teenage son. She is scheduled to be back in Napa County Superior Court on Thursday. According to Napa County court records, Mistie Atkinson faces four felony charges of incest, oral copulation with a minor, lewd contact with a minor and distributing lewd materials to a minor.

Each Lake County family law attorney has worked on many cases involving unique family situations, but these allegations are a reminder that no matter how long one has practiced law, bizarre circumstances continue to arise. Of course, this sort of conduct has criminal implications: a sexual relationship between a parent and his/her child is not only a violation of the California Family Code, but it is also a violation of the California Penal (Criminal) Code.

The California Penal Code makes clear that incest is illegal in California. The language of the Code pertaining to incest is as follows: "Persons being within the degrees of consanguinity within which marriages are declared by law to be incestuous are void, who intermarry with each other, or who being 14 years of age or older, commit fornication or adultery with each other, are punishable by imprisonment in the state prison." Therefore, in application of this provision, Atkinson remains in the Napa County jail, where she is being held on $200,000 bail.

The Napa County court records provide a little more context for the story. Apparently, Atkinson and her son were absent from each other's lives until just recently when Atkinson located her 16-year-old son through the Internet last year. Prosecutors allege that the two developed a sexual relationship in the latter half of 2011. Disturbingly, the son knew that Atkinson was his biological mother. Although the son had knowledge and the sexual relationship was consensual, our Lake County family law attorney understands that neither the Penal Code nor the Family Code in California allows for such an incestuous relationship between mother and son to go unpunished.

Not only does Atkinson face criminal ramifications for her actions, but she also faces child custody issues with her son's father. In response to the sordid turn of events, the father obtained a restraining order against Atkinson in December 2011. Reports have yet to disclose what, if any, further action the father has taken. It is logical to infer that the next step the father will take is to file for full custody of the son (if he doesn't already have it), asserting that it is in the "best interest of the child" to be under the supervision of the father given the mother's criminal behavior. Based on this argument, it is likely that the court will grant the father full custody.

In previous posts, we had discussed several factors that fathers in child custody battles should be mindful of in order to protect their custody rights. Those concerns notwithstanding, however, the father in this particular case is likely to find favor with the court under the circumstances.

Our Northern California family law attorneys appreciate that unexpected, unusual and complicated family issues can arise. When faced with uncertain situations, it is always important to seek the advice of a qualified legal professional in order to protect your rights.

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Determining the Best Interest of the Child

Fathers and Child Custody in California

Some assume that child custody matters are simple issues that can be quickly resolved given that, according to California law, custody is ultimately determined upon what is in the "best interest of the child." However, complexities in child custody matters often emerge when parents' fail to reach an agreement on their own about what is in their offspring's best interest. Our Santa Rosa child custody attorneys understand that a wide range of factors can play into the "best interests of the child" standard. We have helped guide many local residents through this process.

In California, either parent can have custody of the child or the parents can agree to share custody. The child custody agreement consists of both legal custody and physical custody. Legal custody grants the parent the right to make important decisions for the child in regards to such issues as education and health care. Physical custody refers to with who the child lives. Both parents may share the rights and responsibilities to both legal and physical custody or one parent may have the sole right to either legal or physical custody.

Custody is not given automatically to the mother or the father. A common misconception is that the mother has the more favorable platform in gaining custody rights of the child. However, the court takes into account several factors in determining what is best for the child, including the age of the child, the health of the child, the emotional ties between the parents and the child, and similar issues. Also taken into consideration by the court is the behavior of the parents during both the divorce proceeding and the child custody matter. Therefore, the father has an equal opportunity to gain legal rights and responsibilities of the child during a custody proceeding.

Although California courts give mothers and fathers an equal chance to gain legal rights in child custody matters, our Santa Rosa custody lawyers advise fathers seeking custody to take certain precautions so as not to thwart their equal opportunity. Due to the societal preconception that children are better off with their mothers, judges may have an instinctual disposition to unknowingly favor the mother. It is important for fathers in child custody battles to refrain from certain behaviors that might reinforce those preconceived notions.

A recent article touched on these issues. The story suggested that in order to protect their custody rights, fathers should not exude behavior that would suggest dominance or an attitude that men are more powerful than women. Such behavior that might suggest dominance and power include yelling at a wife, criticizing their partner to friends and family, or failing to inform the mother in advance of any decisions made in regards to the child. A display of dominance and power may allow the mother to assert the claim that she is afraid of her husband, which may ultimately put the father in a negative light in the court's judgment. Overall, it is important to understand - especially for fathers - that determining the best interest of the child also entails how the mother and father treat each other.

Our Santa Rosa family law attorneys appreciate that child custody matters are emotional, complex, and often wrought with uncertainty. No matter what your situation, each Northern California family law attorney at our firm has the experience to help protect your rights. Please give us a call at 707-576-7175 to learn how we can help you in the child custody process.

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Fathers and Child Custody in California

What Does Joint Custody of Your Child Involve?

Our Santa Rosa child custody lawyer has seen firsthand how easy it is for parents to fall into the trap of believing that their custody battle will be fairly straightforward and simple because they generally believe themselves to be "good people." Often, parents fail to recognize what they are up against when it comes to fighting for custody with an ex-spouse or partner. They think that as long as they are not abusive, and as long as they are able to properly provide for their children, they will not face any real obstacles to being with their children. However, as our experienced Sonoma County divorce lawyer knows, marriages rarely end without any hard feelings between the parties. This is especially true when there are children involved. Therefore, parents must be prepared for every kind of attack, using any ammunition available to impinge their characters and their fitness as caregivers for their children.

One such attack that has been gaining ground and attention in courts across the nation involves the issue of parents who smoke cigarettes. According to an article in the Washington Times last month, family law courts in at least 18 states have begun to consider whether a parent smokes, and especially whether a parent smokes in the presence of his or her children, when making a child custody determination.

The article cites a study conducted by an anti-tobacco group called Action on Smoking and Health. The study analyzed thousands of child custody cases from all around the country to see what effect smoking had on a parent's likelihood of being granted partial or full custody. Among other things, the findings revealed that (1) no court has ever ruled that the issue of whether or not a parent smokes is irrelevant to the custody decision; (2) judges often make it a condition of visitation that a smoking parent refrain from smoking in the presence of the child and in the day or two preceding a visit; and (3) some courts will even hear evidence about the smoking habits of other people who the child sees routinely while in one parent's care, such as grandparents, close friends, or significant others. This means that even if one parent does not smoke, the fact that he or she is often around people who do can weigh against that parent when the ultimate decision is made.

Because of this growing concern, some parents will quit smoking altogether prior to filing for divorce or before a court proceeding to determine custody. However, California child custody law allows the court to reconsider a prior custody arrangement if the person seeking the change can demonstrate that there has been a substantial change in circumstances. According to the study cited above, courts have altered existing custody orders on the grounds that one of the parents is or has become a smoker. Therefore, even if someone quits before the date of a court hearing, if he or she starts back up again, it will be at the risk of losing custody and possibly even visitation rights.

As always, in our area it is important to have the advice of an experienced Santa Rosa divorce lawyer at Beck Law. Our attorneys are proud to serve residents communities like Santa Rosa, Rohnert Park, Petaluma, Kenwood, Glen Ellen, Bodega Bay, Ukiah, Clearlake, and throughout Sonoma County, Mendocino County and Lake County.

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Where do I File for a Divorce in California?

Am I Entitled to Spousal Support?

A few weeks ago our Santa Rosa divorce lawyer provided some recommendations on how clients can safeguard their online identities in order to protect themselves during turbulent divorces. Recently, an Ohio man learned firsthand how big a role Facebook can play in these difficult cases. The husband, Mark, and his wife, Elizabeth, were involved in an acrimonious divorce, child custody, and visitation case last year. They have one child together, a son, and the custody dispute has involved a great deal of emotional turmoil for both parents. Elizabeth had also lodged allegations of threats and abuse against her husband.

Even more trouble arose when Mark decided to use his Facebook page as an outlet for his hostile feelings towards Elizabeth. According to a USA Today article, Mark posted a comment to his page that said, among other things, "...if you are an evil vindictive woman who wants to ruin your husband's life and take your son's father away from him completely -- all you need to do is say that you're scared of your husband or domestic partner." Even though Mark had taken steps to keep his page private from his wife, she found out about the post anyway, probably through a mutual friend with access to Mark's profile.

When Elizabeth discovered what he had written, she called her attorney, who brought the matter to the court's attention. Due to Elizabeth's accusations of abuse, the domestic relations magistrate had previously granted her protection by ordering her soon-to-be ex to refrain from any activity that would cause his wife to experience physical or mental abuse. The magistrate determined that the Facebook rant was a violation of that order and found Mark in contempt of court. The magistrate judge told Mark that he could either post an apology or spend the next 60 days in jail. Not surprisingly, Mark chose the first option.

Our Santa Rosa divorce lawyers appreciate that this particular ruling has garnered a fair amount of media attention in the last few weeks. Attorneys and other advocates around the country have contributed to the debate over whether or not judges and magistrates should be able to threaten people with jail for what many say is a protected form of expression under the First Amendment. The husband's attorney argued that by posting online, Mark was merely expressing himself and that his comments were not intended to cause Elizabeth any distress. In fact, Mark thought that his wife would not be able to see the comments because he had removed her as a "friend" on Facebook and blocked her from seeing his profile.

Each Northern California family law attorney at our firm appreciates that disagreement about the appropriate balance between free speech principles and effects on divorce will continue to rage in the coming years. In any event, the story demonstrates how essential it is to not only protect your social media profiles during a divorce but also to take the time to think before posting anything derogatory about your spouse. All too often, especially in cases that involve intense emotion and conflict, internet posts can come back to haunt a spouse with severe (and unwanted) consequences.

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Safeguarding Your Internet Presence During a Divorce

Northern California Annulment/Nullity Attorney

Prior to a California court making a determination of child custody, child visitation and child support there first needs to be a determination of paternity and depending whether the parents are married or not, the law provides for different presumptions and procedures.

For example, when a married couple is living together and a child is born, as long as the husband is not impotent or sterile, it is presumed that the husband is the father. In several limited situations, this presumption may be challenged. .

If the parents of a child were never married there are different issues the parent must contemplate regarding the issue of paternity.

Parents who were not married may legally establish paternity through the execution of a Voluntary Declaration of Paternity, which is a document commonly available at any hospital. In essence, the voluntary declaration includes a statement by both the mother and father stating they each believe the declared father to be the child's biological father and that they consent to paternity being legally established. When unmarried parents have a child born in a different state and the parents signed a voluntary declaration in that separate state, a California court will recognize a declaration signed in that different state.

The signing of the voluntary declaration does not prohibit the declared father from later having a court enter a formal judgment regarding paternity or having the voluntary declaration set aside if DNA tests show that he is not the biological father.

For the any unmarried parents that have never signed a voluntary declaration who wish to establish paternity, they must petition the court to determine paternity. This requires a parent to file a Petition to Establish Parental Relationship. However, the filing of a Petition to Establish Parental Relationship does not allow the court to make orders regarding child custody, child visitation and child support. The Petition to Establish Parental Relationship only allows the court to determine paternity and if a parent wants the court make orders regarding child custody, child visitation and child support, the parent must file a separate motion for those particular issues.

Once a Petition to Establish Parental Relationship has been filed by either parent, the parties can either reach an agreement if neither the father or mother contests the issue regarding who is the biological father. However, if neither party agrees a DNA test may be ordered by the court to either establish paternity or disestablish paternity.

When parties in Northern California are considering a divorce, sometimes they question whether they can get an "annulment". Under very specific and limited circumstances, parties can request a California court to declare their marriage null and void.

For the court to grant a judgment of nullity the must determine that the marriage was either void or voidable. Under the Family Code, a marriage is void from the beginning when the marriage involves either incest or when a marriage is entered into while either party is married to another person. In the later situation, the marriage is usually bigamous and void from the beginning.

A party who mistakenly believes their spouse to be deceased can have a marriage deemed void if for 5 successive years immediately preceding the marriage, the party's spouse had been absent and not known to the party to be living or at the time the marriage was entered into, the party's spouse was generally reputed or believed by the party to be dead.

Under the Family Code, when a marriage is void, it is void from the beginning, technically meaning that no marriage has occurred. However, this does not mean that a party should not obtain a judgment of nullity, because depending on the circumstances, a party may want a public record of their marital status. Furthermore, in specific circumstances, a party to a void marriage may be entitled to assert property and support rights as though the marriage had been valid and the parties may also address issues of custody, visitation, and child support in a nullity action.
On the other hand, a voidable marriage is valid until it is declared void and judicially declared a nullity. A marriage is voidable when a spouse was a minor and lacked the ability of consent; a spouse had an unsound mind at the time of marriage; consent was gained through fraud or force; or a spouse is physically incapable of entering into the marriage.
In situations of minority, a marriage is voidable if, at the time of the marriage, the petitioner was under age 18 and the requisite parental and court consents were not obtained. Nullity based on unsound mind occurs when either party is incapable of understanding the nature of the marriage contract and the duties and responsibilities it creates at the time of the marriage ceremony. Seeking an annulment on the basis of fraud will require the court to determine that the consent to enter into the marriage was obtained by false representations relating to a matter of substance that go to the very essence of the marital relation.

Making the decision to file for a divorce in California is very difficult and many people are overwhelmed with the process and the paperwork. There are complicated decisions about finances, dividing assets and debts, developing a parenting plan and so much more. Additionally, and often times just as important as the legal issues is the emotional turmoil many parties feel and a feeling of not knowing what to do.

When a person makes that difficult decision to file for divorce sometimes there are some initial questions such as "Where do I file?" and more importantly "Can I file for divorce in California?"

The later question should be answered first because in order to file for divorce in California, the state requires that you be a resident of California for at least six months and that you have been a resident of the county wherein you reside for at least three months. Depending on the specific circumstances of your matter even if you do not meet with the jurisdictional requirements for a divorce in California, you may be able to file for a legal separation, which can later be amended.
The question of "Where do I file?" is more easily answered. Filing for divorce in California requires the preparation of several documents and a filing fee. The required documents are a Petition for Dissolution of Marriage, a Summons and if the parties have children, an additional form called the Declaration Under Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act or "UCCJEA". In short, the UCCJEA is a uniform act that grants the court of the "home state" of a child exclusive jurisdiction for issues of child custody. All of these documents listed above must be completed and delivered to the clerk of the family law court, with two copies, and the required fees.
However, simply filing a Petition for Dissolution will not grant either party rights to child custody, child visitation, child support, spousal support or divide any property rights. A party seeking to have any of the above issues must file a motion with the California court specifically seeking the requested relief.
Another serious issue to consider is the numerous tactical issues that affect the timing of a person filing a California Petition for Dissolution. These can range from specific issues regarding a determination of child custody and the best interests of the children to issues of property control. For example, by filing a California Petition for Dissolution and serving the required documents on your spouse, there are financial restraining orders that prohibit your spouse from transferring property, encumbering property or changing beneficiary designations without your consent.

Q: I am concerned about my grandchildren and have not been able to visit them at all for many months now; do I have any legal rights to visitation with my grandchildren?

A: Yes, but as with most legal matters, it depends on the specific facts of each situation. In a very general sense, Family Code § 3100 grants the court jurisdiction to award visitation rights to any other person (i.e. grandparents, stepparents, etc.) having an interest in the welfare of the child.

Therefore, grandparents may petition the court for visitation with their grandchildren in the following situations:

• When a parent is deceased (Family Code §3102);
• When there is a pending family law proceeding where child custody is already at issue (Family Code §3103);
• The parents are not married to one another, including after dissolution of a marriage (Family Code §3104)
• The parents are married but are living separate and apart on a permanent or indefinite basis and satisfaction of additional statutory requirements (Family Code §3104)

The central theme that is common to all of the above situations is the obligation of the court to make a decision in the best interests of the children, or in this case, the grandchildren.

Grandparents petitioning the court under Family Code §3102 can only do so when a biological parent is deceased.

Family Code §3103, permits grandparents to petition the court for visitation when a family law proceeding is pending and the issue of child custody is already at issue. However, if a petition is filed under this section, any visitation awarded to a grandparent would automatically terminate upon the court issuing a judgment regarding dissolution of marriage or determination of parentage. Thus, a grandparent would then be forced to file a petition under Family Code §3104.

Grandparents bring a petition for visitation under Family Code §3104 when the parents a legally separated, divorced or living separate on a permanent basis. However, grandparents should be aware that the court must make a threshold determination as to whether a bond or relationship exists between the child and the grandparent. This requires the court to strike a balance between the grandparent's interest in visitation and the right of parents to exercise authority over the child.

Grandparents petitioning the court under Family Code §3104 may have to overcome several rebuttable presumptions, depending on the wishes of the natural parents of the grandchildren. For example, if the natural or adoptive parents of the grandchild agree that the grandparents should not have visitation, a rebuttable presumption arises that it is not in a child's best interest that the grandparents should not have visitation rights. [See Family Code §3104(e).] However, case law has stated that this presumption does not apply when one of the parents supports the grandparent's petition for visitation and the other parent opposes it. (See Marriage of Harris 2004, Cal.4th 210.)

Therefore, as you can see, depending on the unique facts and circumstances of each case, grandparents do have the right to have visitation with their grandchildren.

It is becoming increasingly common for couples to form stable, long-term relationships without ever getting married. This includes both heterosexual couples and same-sex couples in domestic partnerships. Many view marriage as an unnecessary social stamp on a relationship that is already strong. However, when the relationship falls apart, the lack of a legal framework can make it difficult for parties to know where they stand, what happens to their property and their children. If you ever have this problem, even though you are technically not getting a divorce, you should find a California family law attorney who can explain your rights and what to expect.

What Happens to Our House and Our Shared Possessions?

Members of an unmarried couple are not legally entitled to split the assets without a valid oral or written agreement. This is part of what is called "palimony," where one ex-partner pays the other payments that are like spousal support.

Without this sort of agreement, the division of property depends upon whether the assets were bought jointly or separately. If separately, the asset remains with whoever bought it, even if the other partner used it frequently. This can lead to a lot of division, which is why many unmarried couples have signed written agreements that discuss asset division. In contrast to other states, California does not recognize common law marriage.

What if I Want Custody of Our Children?

When an unmarried relationship dissolves, the mother automatically receives sole custody of the children. She has the discretion to permit or deny visitation or shared custody. She can also seek child support from her ex-partner, because California does not base child support on marriage, but on the best interests of the child. To do so, she must establish her ex-partner's paternity. This involves filing and serving a Petition to Establish Parentage on the father, and an Order to Show Cause for child support in a family court.

If the male partner wants custody or visitation, he must file a Petition to Establish Parentage and an Order to Show Cause for custody, visitation, and/or support. Should the male partner deny that he is the father, or if the female partner deny it, either can request a DNA test that will establish whether paternity exists. Once paternity has been established, the court can then order visitation rights or shared custody, unless the judge believes that it would not be in the child's best interests. If paternity is not established, the mother retains the sole right to decide visitation and shared custody. Likewise, the mother cannot expect to receive child support payments from her ex-partner.

During a divorce, it is important for parents to keep in mind the best interests of their children. For many, that means agreeing to a joint-custody arrangement where the children live with both of their parents. Yet while joint custody sounds straightforward -- children live with their parents equally -- it actually varies depending upon the circumstances. A California family law attorney can help you understand what it involves, so you can work out the best arrangement for you and your children.

What is Joint Custody?

When people think of joint custody, they often think of children split between the parents 50-50. In fact, there are several types of shared custody. The 50-50 scenario takes place in a "pure" joint custody situation, where neither parent has sole legal or physical custody of the child. It may also take place in a joint physical custody arrangement, where each parent has "significant periods of custody," so that the children have "frequent and continuing contact with both parents." However, joint physical custody does not require an even split -- just that they children live with both parents. Then there is joint legal custody, where parents share the decision-making responsibilities on issues like their children's education and welfare. There may also be divided custody arrangements, where each parent has sole custody of one of the children.

How Will My Custody Situation be Determined?

As we mentioned in earlier posts about child custody, courts generally look at what is in the best interest of the child. In a best-case scenario, the divorcing spouses will have already come up with a custody arrangement that just needs court certification. When both parents have already agreed to a joint-custody arrangement, there is a legal presumption that it is in the best interest of the child. Otherwise, the courts will look at the child's health, safety, and welfare; any history of abuse by one of the parents; the nature and amount of contact between the child and each parent; whether one parent uses illegal substances; whether the parent can adequately care for the child; and the child's ties to the community.

Courts no longer automatically award custody to the mother. A judge could decide that based on the above, the father should be the main custodial parent even in a joint custody situation.

How Can I Ensure That Our Joint-Custody Arrangement Is Successful?

Parents who have sat down and discussed an arrangement before coming to court are most likely to be successful. The animosity often present in custody situations will be minimal, ensuring that the child is happier and more secure. Otherwise, the most important thing is for both parents to provide a safe, stable home environment within or near the community where the child has grown up. Many arrangements will specify that your child must go to school in a certain district. If one parent needs to relocate for a job, that can seriously impact the joint-custody arrangement. If you must relocate, you should petition the court to have your joint-custody agreement modified.

It is a common belief that women are the more capable parent and child caregiver. Historically, the public has stereotyped the mother's role as critical to a child's physical, emotional and social development. Alternately, the father's customary role was the supplying of food, shelter, clothing and acting as a disciplinarian. His position in the home rarely involved the direct care and nurturing of the couple's children. Because of these long-established biases, when a couple divorced the mother usually received custody of the children.

California family courts no longer embrace the traditional model of parental roles and view the approach as antiquated. Rather than favoring one parent over the other, California family courts have adopted a more balanced and evolved philosophy that guides child custody awards. This viewpoint requires that custody determinations be based on only what the evidence demonstrates is in the best interest of the child. In this stance, the role of both parents is critical to the overall development and well being of the child.

Child custody battles often have devastating effects on both parents. However, in a heated and prolonged custody battle, your child is the person who suffers the most. Because of the potential long-term negative effects on your child, California family courts frequently disfavor those parents who attempt to alienate their child from the other parent. Parental alienation occurs when one parent tells lies to their child about the other parent, thwarts the other parent's visitation time or engages in other behaviors that could cause the child to lose trust and respect for the non-custodial parent. Prevailing in a custody dispute requires the presentation of only truthful, objective and verifiable evidence. Making false allegations of child abuse, neglect, endangerment or other questionable behaviors will weaken even the most solid of child custody cases. Alternately, the court will favor the parent who consistently demonstrates that they are in the best position to assist the child in fostering a positive relationship with the opposing parent.

Several factors can influence the father's likelihood of success in a child custody case. The father must demonstrate to the court his readiness to assume the role of primary custodian. The odds of winning are higher if the father can show a history of gainful employment and job stability. To gain custody the father must secure and maintain a safe and sanitary residence that can adequately accommodate the needs of the child. Additionally, the court may ask to review the father's plans for childcare for the times he is at work, medical care arrangements and more.
During custody disputes, the court scrutinizes the character of both parents. It is best that personal conduct is unmarred. Those individuals with a history of criminal convictions, drug and alcohol abuse problems, untreated mental illness and domestic violence rarely receive a custody award.

Statistics demonstrate that if a father's personal conduct is unmarred and he can prove that he is ready to take on the task of primary caregiver, he can, and often does prevail in a child custody dispute. Sadly, many men who desperately seek this custodial role give up prematurely. They fear and erroneously think that the family courts favor the mother. Moreover, many fathers simply stop the custody battle because they cannot afford the mounting legal fees, the costs associated with court appointed professionals, cannot take the time off work for court hearings and more. As fathers become more educated, they will realize that that they do have good odds of gaining custody of their children. However, they must persevere in the legal proceedings and not give up prematurely.

The California family court has evolved and no longer views the mother as the only suitable caregiver for children. Today, the family court views the father's role as equally important. Within the current legal system in California, fathers are encouraged to step up and play a more active role in their child's lives. For fathers, becoming the primary custodian is no longer an unachievable goal. However, once the responsibility is obtained, the custodial parent has an obligation to foster their child's relationship with the non-custodial parent. After all, a positive relationship with both parents is in the best interest of the child.

Children are precious. Unfortunately, in many Santa Rosa child custody and visitation disputes, the children are considered the prize that both parents want to win. Sometimes a parent will take advantage of visitation and refuse to return a child at the agreed-upon time. If there is no court order regarding physical custody, Sonoma County law enforcement cannot do anything unless the child is in danger. If you find yourself involved in this difficult circumstance, there are some things you can do to ensure you are acting in the best interests of your child and within the law.

Try to Talk it Out
The very first step should be to attempt to work things out with your ex without involving outside parties. You should attempt to find out why your ex does not want to return the children. Does she feel like they do not get enough time with the children? Does he have concerns about the health and safety of the children while they are in your care? Find out if you can resolve these issues between the two of you.

Contact Law Enforcement
While your local Sonoma County law enforcement officials will not be able to do anything unless the children are determined to be in danger, call them anyway and ask to file a statement. This protects you by having the situation officially documented. This is important because the children's other parent could state that you refused to pick them up and this will alleviate this.

Document Everything
Make sure to write down when you dropped the children off, when you attempted to pick them up and any conversation that took place between your ex and yourself. You should also note your children's behavior that you are able to observe - were the children trying to get out the door when they saw that you were there? Could you hear them in the home? Did you get to see them at all?

Go to Court
If there is already a custody order in effect, then there are procedures in place for going to court to file for a contempt of court complaint and obtaining an emergency custody order. You may consider contacting an experienced and knowledgeable attorney to ensure that you and your children are being protected. Other services or programs may be ordered at that time, such as parenting education, home studies, background checks and possibly psychological testing and counseling. At this time, the judge will also approve a temporary custody order which will stand until programs are completed and the final custody order is determined.

Sonoma County Child custody and visitation disputes can be a stressful part of divorces and breakups. It is hoped that both parents are able to communicate well enough to work through these issues on their own. However, if you are unable to resolve these disputes on your own, the legal system will become involved and decide for you, in the best interests of the child.